Woody Allen Quotes

1. "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve it through not dying."
2. "I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens."
   
3. "Eighty percent of success is showing up."
4. "My one regret in life is that I am not someone else."
5. "Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
6. "His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy."
7. "Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday."
8. "Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons."
9. "The food was terrible, and the portions were too small."
10. "Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon."